Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
