i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
