My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
