Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
