sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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