He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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