I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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