College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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