how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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