the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i love accidental penises.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
