she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
