I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I supernannyed him into submission
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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