just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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