come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
