so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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