i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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