sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
