you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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