I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
