I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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