Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
that may or may not have been my penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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