I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
