I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize