Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize