i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
