Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
