I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Randomize
