he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So many bounce houses so little time
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
