The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so let's talk penis.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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