Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
