I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sorry about my life...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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