I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize