you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
