You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
