So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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