Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
