babies were throwing up all over the place
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
