My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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