i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You are the jesus of drinking
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
