life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to sanitize my soul.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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