whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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