cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
