Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize