Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Four minutes until I can fart!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
