No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
