theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
