I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
