I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
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