I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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