I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
