id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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