You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
