and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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