help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
