Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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