I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
