one might say we're banned from that church
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
